


McDrunk

by fecofijo



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Humor, Idiots in Love, Streamer AU, The Pocky Game, but they’re really acting like it, lena luthor hates turtles, like... drunk drunk, sponsored by mcdonald’s, superstrength vodka, they get drunk, they’re not really drunk in the 2nd part
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-28
Updated: 2020-09-24
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:55:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25561681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fecofijo/pseuds/fecofijo
Summary: “If…only if,” Kara began to say. “If someone donates a thousand dollars, I’ll flex my arms for chat.” she proposes to the camera, confident that no one would actually do so.and not even 15 minutes later, a thousand dollar donation pops up on their screen.orstreamer!Kara AU that no one asked for where Kara gets drunk and eats McDonald’s with her girlfriend while streaming.
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 17
Kudos: 580





	1. Chapter 1

“How are you so good at this!?” Kara gapes as Lena wins another round of smash bros for the sixth consecutive time, her girlfriend only laughs at her.

The deal was, whoever won the game would take a shot after each round, the blonde had thought that the alcohol would throw Lena off the game but her plan was definitely _not_ working the way she had planned it to. Lena was a phenomenal businesswoman, don’t get her wrong, but goddamn was she also great in super smashing. (in another certain context as well… if you know what I mean)

“God fu–ugh.” with a pout, Kara slouches on her chair in defeat as Lena violently blasts her character out of the map, her arms uselessly dangling over the armrests of the swivel chair.

grinning smugly, Lena toasts the sizeable bottle of whiskey towards the camera before taking a drink straight from the bottle. 

sighing, “You hate to see it,” mocked Lena.

Kara huffs, crossing her arms defensively as she glares at the woman sitting beside her. “I thought the more you drink the worse you’ll get!” 

“I don’t think your plan is working very well.” _no shit_.

determined as ever, Kara challenges Lena once again, “last round.”

this time, Kara actually manages to win somehow. In fact, she wins three more rounds, and then she wins her fourth, fourth win and fourth shot of Aldebaran rum — usually, she’d be knocked out somewhere along the rainbow with just a single shot, it’s a miracle she’s even conscious.

she can’t help but give her girlfriend a suspicious look when she wins again. “are you even trying?”

“I am!” Lena says in the most unconvincing tone, snickering. “maybe you’re the one who’ll end up shitfaced after all.” 

and Kara _does_ end up shitfaced, “I hate this game.” she sobs into Lena’s shoulder when she starts beating her at the game once again, the bottle of Aldebaran rum already half consumed.

Lena takes some pity on her, drawing circles on her back before suggesting a less violent game. “Are you good at Mario Kart?”

“No.”

they play it anyway.

and they find out that Kara is indeed _not_ good at playing Mario Kart. “Lena, I love you but how the fuck are you on first – someone just threw a fucking – ugh!” 

an amused but concerned glance is thrown at her way, “Are still you okay, babe?” 

“am fine.” Kara suddenly sits up straight — or at least as straight as she can because she’s… y’know — she pushes her glasses up, pulling a serious face though her words came out slurred, “I’m n’actually drunk.”

Lena couldn’t help but chuckle, “n’actually?” she teases.

“I’m n’actually- I’m no, am _not_ actual – _actually_ drun…” Kara pauses suddenly, frustrated at her inability to talk straight. “y’know it’s really hard to talk right now – .” 

humming, “that totally sounds like you’re not drunk at all,” Lena sarcastically retorted.

“No, really!” Kara says, trying to stand again but Lena keeps her grounded somehow. “I’m okay, I’m really  _ really _ sober right now.

Kara ducks under Lena’s hold, attempting to stand to prove her point but begins swaying on her feet, and despite wanting to make fun of her girlfriend, she’s a little more concerned about how they could have a big hole on the floor if they weren’t careful. Thankfully, Lena manages to bribe her with sweets, minutes later, they’re back to business.

“I hate this game.” Kara frowns as her character is aggressively shoved off the track by Lena’s. “I both hate it and love it.”

“how I feel about you.” Lena snorts, stalling suddenly when the game pauses out of nowhere. “why– why’d you pause?” she asks, feigning confusion as she fought off a grin, glancing between a jaw-slacked Kara and the paused screen.

“what do you mean by that?” Kara questions, the Danvers™ crinkle knit on her forehead, “what do you mean by that!? why would you say that!” she nags, shaking Lena by the shoulder though the woman only ignores her question and laughs out loud at her reaction.

okay, no more games.

Kara’s skill with creating art is undeniable, often, she would paint — with Lena — during her free time. However, her being three-fourths into a bottle of strong, alien alcohol was not helping the situation at all.

30 minutes later, they’re having art classes, and Kara, while drunk, is demonstrating, on the screen, instructions on how to draw herself.

Lena watches by her side, coming up to make suggestions once in a while — _genius_ suggestions such as, “when you draw her arms, they have to be a bit _buff_ because Kara goes to the gym a lot.”

“Maybe you should not have told them that.” Kara snorts, pointing at the corner displaying the chat going into chaos. “Now they want me to flex for chat.” 

Lena raises her eyebrow in a suggestive manner, a glint of mischief in her tone, “do you want to?”

“If…only _if_ ,” Kara began to say. “If someone donates a thousand dollars, I’ll flex my arms for chat.” she proposes, confident that no one would actually dare to do so.

and not even 15 minutes later, a thousand dollar donation pops up on their screen. 

“No fucking way,” Kara groans.

(the notification came along with a message, in all caps, saying, “please crush me with your biceps.” but we don’t talk about that)

“holy _shit_ .” Lena lets out a full-on belly laugh with her head thrown back as she claps, not really expecting that someone would be up to it. _I mean_ , she too would more than happily pay a thousand dollars — _hell_ , she’d pay more than that if she had to just to see Kara’s biceps but she had honestly thought she would be the only one gay enough to do that. 

“you have to do it now.” 

“I’m– I was joking!” Kara sputters.

“well, you have to do it! they paid for it!” said Lena, watching gleefully as Kara lifts her arm to the view of the camera. “wow, look, an arm,” grumbled Kara.

“No, like – pull your sleeves up.” Lena helps her girlfriend fold them up and over her shoulders, barely even containing her thirst — ahem, I mean, her appreciation for Kara’s… _aesthetics._

“Yeah, just like that!” 

“wow, arm!” with an unnerved laugh, Kara flexes the bulging muscles in front of the camera, even showing different angles, drunkenly yelling, “It’s an arm!” as she sends the chat into a downwards spiral to insanity.

_they’re gonna have fun scrolling through twitter tomorrow._

Lena’s eyes are completely _glued_ on said arm, almost bulging out of her skull, her tongue subconscious darts out to wet her bottom lip as her eyes trail all over her girlfriend’s biceps — and then she recalls that she’s in front of a camera, broadcasting her thirsting over Kara to tens of thousands of people — out of embarrassment, a fervent shade of red washes over her cheeks, warmth spreading to the tips of her ears.

she doesn’t realize she’d zoned out and Kara had already pulled her sleeve back down until the blonde awkwardly clears her throat, “anyway–” she squirms back in her seat, “–I hope that was worth a thousand dollars.”

Lena doesn’t know how but Kara has managed to snatch away the bottle of Aldebaran rum — which she had purposely socially distanced from Kara — and is now almost empty.

“Hey, no! bad!” The bottle is snatched away from Kara’s grip and all she could do is gape as it is instead replaced by a boring bottle of water. “No more alcohol for you,” scolded Lena as if the Kryptonian were a child.

Kara sulks, comically glaring at Lena. “does this look like the face of someone who’s drunk!?” her alien goes on to rant.

“Yes!” chided Lena — only before the doorbell suddenly rings, interrupting whatever protest Kara had to say. “That must be the food.”

“oooh, I’ll get it,” Kara offers, already staggering onto her feet, excited at the prospect of food.

Lena comes to stop her however, “No. _No._ ” she tugs at Kara’s arm, pulling her back. “I’ll get it.” 

“No, I’ll get it!” Kara interrupts, attempting to race the Luthor who attempts to playfully push her away.

For a grown-up businesswoman, Lena is very much aware of how childish they look in front of an audience, trying to shove each other away from the door. “No. _I_ will get it!”

After squabbling with each other for a couple more minutes (and threatening to take away Kara’s stash of dino chicken nuggets) Lena comes back, cradling a mountain’s worth of plastic bags filled with takeout from McDonald's on her arms.

“Oh my god,” gaped Kara, clearing an area on the desk for Lena to set the food down. “that’s a _lot_ of McDonald's!” she exclaims, almost as if accusing her girlfriend — she can go overboard sometimes… (most of the time)

“Please don’t judge me,” she pleads to Kara, laughing self-consciously as she realizes that the amount she ordered would probably be enough for a mini game night.

Kara regards her still with a judging yet amused look as if this had so far been the most ridiculous thing that Lena has ever done, but despite herself, the blonde too breaks into laughter.

“Why did you order so much McDonald’s!” 

“You said you wanted a happy meal!” Lena retorts, pouting as she unpacks the bags and sorts everything on the desk.

“Can I have some McFries.”

“You wanna eat McFries?”

“I wanna eat McF–okay, that’s too many fries–” she says when Lena shoves one more container of large fries into the bag of already large fries in her hand, “babe, that’s _way_ too many fries!”

“Well, I ordered a hundred dollars of McDonald’s so get used to it!” Lena says, cramming another set of large fries on the bag before digging once again into the rest of her order, “you also said you wanted a cheeseburger? here’s a mcfucking quarter pounder!” 

“I said I wanted a cheeseburger, not a mcfucking quarter pounder!” yelled Kara, going on to rant about Lena’s impulsive financial decisions when she’s around Kara.

“It’s a quarter pounder! did you know there’s a thing on the McDonald’s menu called a cheeseburger!?”

pointing the dull plastic hotcake knife to Kara, she threatens, “I said don’t mcfucking mcjudge me!” 

“stop putting “mc” In front of every single word!” Kara squawks, only to say, “you _Mc_ Idiot.” 

“I’m your McIdiot.”

“No, I’m your McIdiot!” 

“No, _me_.”

Kara bursts into tears suddenly, _actual_ _tears_. “I love you,” she cries.

“ _oh my god, she’s drunk._ ” Lena whispers to the camera, snatching the Kryptonian into her arms, tucking her head just beneath her chin. Kara proceeds to nuzzle her face into the younger one’s shoulder, sniffling. Lena simply holds her, rocking her back and forth.

they stay silent for a while, almost as if there was no camera, as if almost a million people weren’t watching them act _this_ affectionate — the ice is finally broken when Lena plants a kiss atop Kara’s head, mumbling, “I love you too.” afterwards.

“I like you a lot,” Kara mumbles into her shoulder, making Lena scoff, but even then, she replies, “I like you a lot too.”

“You’re the coolest person in the world,” The inebriated kryptonian adds, rubbing away at her eyes.

a chuckle escapes Lena. “That’s how I know you’re really drunk.”

Suddenly, Kara pops up from her spot under her girlfriend’s chin, the movement knocking Lena’s glasses askew, the woman only laughs fondly, realizing that Kara was too drunk to notice. 

“oh crap I’m still streaming,” Kara says, adjusting her own glasses as she moves toward the monitor, proceeding to read the chat.

“chat is spamming “Lena is a bottom” what’s that supposed to mean?” Kara asks, narrowing her eyes at the screen.

“excuse me!?” huffing, the raven-haired woman indignantly glares at the camera, “I am not a bottom!”

“what does bottom mean?” 

“Stop reading!”

they spend a good couple minutes reading more from the chat with Kara leaning against the businesswoman’s shoulder, both of them eating big macs while listening to a soft, chill playlist in the background.

“Chat?” Lena begins, adjusting herself on her seat so she can cradle Kara closer. “Who seems more drunk… on a third person perspecti–” before she can finish her sentence, the blonde in her arms lurches up, sending herself face-first into Lena’s burger.

“Ahah, you have answered my question for me,” chuckled Lena. 

she watches with a fond grin when Kara remains none the wiser, munching on the pile of fries as if she hadn’t just made out with Lena’s big mac.

“what are you doing?” Kara asks her when she returns with a roll of tissue and begins to clean up the mess of mayonnaise and other dressings on her face.

“You have some McMayonnaise on your face.”

an “oh.” and a giggle was the only response from Kara before she’s asking an entirely different question.

“Lena, be honest with me,” she says in a serious tone, and when Lena gives her a nod, Kara finally asks, “Am I drunk?”

“Yes, You’re McDrunk.”

“pfft, McDrunk.” grinning, Kara playfully boops her nose, and when she notices the faint blush on Lena’s cheeks, she giggles. “You’re McCute.”

“shut up.” 

After disposing of all the tissue paper she had used up, she switches up Kara’s chair with one that doesn’t have an armrest so she could lay her head on Lena’s lap comfortably and Lena could subconsciously run her hand through soft, golden locks.

“Okay, but I don’t get it! how did I get drunk?” Kara complains half an hour into their endeavour.

Once again, Lena finds herself sniggering at Kara’s antics, humming, “I wonder how.”

“those were small shots too!” ranted Kara, brows knit in genuine confusion. “how does that make sense?”

“babe, you drank the entire bottle!” 

“No, no, I didn’t!” the blonde sighs, exasperated. “you know what it is?”

Lena stifles her laughter, going along with what her wasted alien had to say, “what is it?”

“It’s the aldebar– the vodka,” Kara corrected, “it’s the vodka. it’s _superstrength_ vodka.”

at the sound of Lena’s giggles starting to get louder, Kara tugs at her arm, staring up at her with pleading eyes. “No, listen! you know how like, how – how Tylenol has superstrength? it’s superstrength vodka.” 

“darling, I hate to break it to you but all vodka is the same–”

“No, you don’t understand! that vodka is superstrength vodka,” Kara argues, reaching an arm out and pointing accusingly at said bottle of alcohol.

Lena draws back the hero’s hand, “Kara, It’s all 40% alcohol because it’s vodka.” laughing as she explains, “It needs to be 40% to be classified as vodka!”

“You don’t- you don’t understand– ugh, I’m too lazy to do this.” the alien cradled onto Lena’s lap finally gives up, slumping against her. “It’s _just_ superstrength vodka, okay? you _have_ to believe me.” 

Kara looks like she might cry so of course, Lena chooses to play along.

“Okay, okay, I believe you,” she coos, intertwining her own fingers with Kara’s. “Next time, we’ll get superstrength soju and potstickers.”

the godling’s eyes go wide with awe at Lena’s proposal, “ooh! can we drink together?”

“sure.” a grin spreads over Lena’s face, adored by how her girlfriend seemed to look at her as if she had hung the stars in the sky.

“I like doing things with you.” 

“we’ll do it together then.” promised Lena, bringing up the back of Kara’s hand to her lips before pressing a brief kiss to her knuckles.

they stay like that for a moment, at least until Kara sits up, and right after adjusting her glasses, points out to Lena that — “there are… 700,000 people watching this right now, and I think this is the appropriate time to tell everyone that you started liking me first.”

“that is _not_ true.” 

“Yes, it is!” 

“that is objectively not true.” Lena shook her head at Kara, turning away from the camera to hide a portion of her face, “Just how you’re objectively bad at smash, that is objectively not true.”

Kara drunkenly launches herself into her personal space, practically straddling her thigh, “you’re gaslighting me!” accused Kara, “You’re blushing right now!”

“I am _not._ ” 

_(yes she is.)_

“yes, you are!”

“that’s a fucking McLie,” Lena petulantly refutes, shaking her head in denial as she attempts to lean away.

“Nooo, it’s the McTruth! you liked me first!” Kara insists, leaning even closer.

Lena laughs coyly, attempting to push Kara away. “You’re the one McGaslighting me–”

“I am _nooot,_ ” Kara drawls, cupping Lena’s cheeks with both hands, prompting the young Luthor to pout. “It’s really cute though.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

“Lena. Kieran. Luthor.” The kryptonian’s teasing is suddenly replaced by a serious tone, intense blue eyes gazing into green, making Lena squirm uneasily in her seat, then a few beats later, Kara mutters, “I’m hungry.”

a hand smacks into Kara’s bicep, “I thought you were gonna say something serious, you scared the shit out of me!” angrily exclaimed Lena.

“It _is_ serious!” Kara laughs.

rolling her eyes, she jabs her hands against Kara’s chest, “if you stop _crushing_ me, maybe I can cook something for dinner.”

At her words, the blonde crawls off her lap right away, looking at her expectantly, “potstickers?”

“No, something with Kale in it maybe.” 

“ha. ha. very funny.”

“If you eat it, I might give you something even more delicious for dinner,” Lena husks into Kara’s ear, it was the hero’s turn to blush now.

they don’t even bother to with a proper outro before the feed is cut off.

  
  



	2. ft. friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> .......... i may have been fucking around with ao3 and accidentally deleted the original second part, uhm

Last year, Kara had befriended Nia Nal during one eventful morning at work. Both of them had gotten closer in a very short amount of time after she took Nia under her wing and became her mentor, both in reporting and in being a superhero, it was about time before Nia had finally been invited to move into their mansion.

And as with every other new, friendly face she met, like some kind of welcoming ceremony, she had invited Nia to her stream and to attend her little art class.

“Here’s how it works. I’ll show chat how to draw you–” Kara nods to the camera as Nia sits down on a spare stool beside her, “–afterwards, you also get to draw yourself, or me, or anything while we wait for submissions,” she had briefly explained. 

They do exactly just that, going through certain details of how to draw a cartoonish version of the younger woman, and when Kara finishes drawing and it was time to wait for the audience’s version, she hands over the tablet to Nia and finds that she was also talented in creating art pieces, flexing a rough yet still very pretty sketch of the new hero in town, Dreamer.

Much later, their discord and Reddit were already filled up with fans’ submissions — “we’re most likely not going to be able to go through all of them but we’ll still check them out off-screen, so don’t worry!” Kara addresses the audience before they dig into the mountains of art that fans had sent.

 _“Kurakku-”_ Nia squints at the portrait in front of her, leaning closer to the monitor to read the Japanese characters written beside the drawing of what was supposed to be her.

“Kurakku… heddo?” Nia reads slowly, before turning to Kara and asking, “That means crackhead, right?”

They quickly pop it into google translate, laughing out loud when it translates directly to _crackhead._

“Oh, sick!” Nia cheers, applauding the art piece like a child — “That’s why I failed 2 years of Japanese! so I can read crackhead!” she exclaims proudly, Kara only watches, a hand palmed over her face.

The two eventually calm down, enough for Nia to grade it, “I’ll give it an 85 for crackhead… wait.” she pauses suddenly, her forehead crinkling as she narrows her eyes at the screen.

“What’s the “OK” thing?” the younger woman asks curiously, pointing at another set of Japanese letters with an _OK_ written above it.

“ _OK_ … gu- _buuu_ –wow,” Nia attempts to read, giving up almost immediately. “I don’t remember a lot of Japanese,” she chuckles, failing to recognise the word.

Kara hunches over, nudging her glasses up as she moves closer to the screen, trying to understand the word herself — a few seconds later, she scowls, _“būmā!?”_ (Boomer)

Nia bursts into another fit of laughter, applauding once again. “OK būmā!” she wheezes.

“I… am disowning my audience.” Kara pouts, failing to stifle her own giggle despite herself.

They shuffle through a couple more submissions, varying from actual art to shitposts, their class is interrupted at the sound of _loud_ , rushing footsteps coming outside.

At the sound of stomping growing louder and the feel of the ground, shaking beneath their feet, they can’t help but throw the door a wary look — the only warning they get is a loud whirring before the door bursts open and they’re being showered with yellow foam bullets.

“What in the fuck!” cursed Nia, as she and Kara both ducked, shooting their hands up to shield their faces as the bullets bounced off in every direction. laughter erupts from the doorway.

Moments later, Lena experimentally peeks her head into the camera’s view, smiling slyly as she tiptoes behind Kara, who shrinks back into her chair. Lena tucks her girlfriend’s head under her chin and wraps her arms around her middle, Kara immediately melts into her embrace, content written on her face.

“I had nothing to do with that, I promise,” the Luthor mumbles into her hair.

A giggling Sam and Andrea soon follow. Nia glares at the former, who was holding a huge nerf minigun, Andrea on the other hand, cradled a sizeable bag of _something_ in her arms, which she sets down beside Kara’s desk.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” Nia flourishes her hand as if presenting a bottle of shampoo for an advertisement, “Content has entered the room.”

“Oh, we’re just content to you, huh.” Sam aims the minigun at her again.

“I’m just joking!” Nia shrinks behind Kara and Lena, laughing nervously as the toy begins to whir again.

Andrea snatches away the gun, “that’s _enough_ ,” she says, blatantly ignoring Sam who was pouting at her petulantly as she places the toy away (Nia peeks over Kara’s shoulder, sticking her tongue out at Sam, who does the same).

“What’s that in the bag?” Kara mulls over, eyeing the mysterious lump on the floor. Lena can’t help the fond chuckle that escapes her lips.

“Andrea accidentally bought a lot of pocky,” says Sam, grabbing the bag and tossing a box of pocky onto Kara’s lap.

The blonde sputters, giving Andrea an incredulous look, “Accidentally!?” 

Sam earns herself a glare from Andrea — she only smiles innocently. 

“Do you guys know the pocky game?” the CFO suddenly changes the topic, tearing into a box of strawberry flavoured pocky. “you guys wanna go?” she challenges.

Glancing up at Lena, Kara ingeniously asks, “Would you be mad if I kissed Sam?”

Shrugging nonchalantly, Lena answers, “No.” 

Sam looks over at Andrea, barely stifling her laughter as she chucks her thumb at Kara’s direction, “Would you be mad if I kissed her–”

“Why the hell are you asking me!?” the CEO chuckles self-consciously, swatting at Sam’s arm as a faint colour of red spreads over her face, eliciting a laugh from the rest of the group, while Lena only shakes her head at the display.

(they’re just friends, guys)

“Okay, let’s get this over with.” Sam rubs her hands together, hunching down to meet Kara eye to eye.

Kara adjusts herself in her seat, “How do we know who wins?” she questions as Sam aligns the pocky between her teeth.

“whoever pulls away from the kiss first, loses.” Nia says in a serious tone, immediately saying, “I’m just kidding!” as the four gaped at her with concerned looks.

Sam pulls both of Kara’s shoulders, looking her in the eye, “I just wanna tell you, I’m really tipsy right now, and I _will_ kiss you.”

rubbing her hands in anticipation, “My fanfiction is coming true,” Nia says in a menacing tone.

Kara gazes at her with wide eyes, “I’m… not even gonna ask,” she says, shaking her head and laughing.

“Okay, okay,” Sam brings their attention back to the topic, aligning the pocky between her and Kara. “On three.”

“One, two…” as soon as they counted three, both of them began to bite their way to the centre — just as their lips were a hair’s width from colliding, they hurriedly jerked away from each other, clutching their stomach as they both dissolved into laughter.

by the time they had started to calm down, Sam has melted into a vibrating puddle on the floor, Kara slouched against Lena’s front — she had moved in front of Kara and wrapped her up in a hug, concerned for her sanity, or seemingly, the lack thereof — the hero lies limp in her arms, only to occasionally burst in giggles.

Nia and Andrea are just… awkwardly watching — and silently contemplating their life decisions, more specifically, how and why did they end up friends with these people in the first place.

Eventually, they have to say goodbye to the stream, Andrea having an emergency to take care of. Sam decides to come along with her to keep her _company_. 

(they find out later on that there was no emergency in the first place — Of course they went on a date, what else did you expect?)

Once the two had exited the room, Lena stands behind Kara once again, her arms crossed and perched on top of the swivel chair’s backrest.

“What were you two doing before we crashed the party?” she questions the two.

“uh.” Kara pulls up a Reddit, made specifically for submissions, overflowing with a bunch of art. “we were actually having an art class— _one sec._ ” she pauses, turning to her computer and going through a couple of files, her tongue stuck out to the side in concentration.

“ _Someone..._ sent a fanart of you,” she innocently tells Lena, only before opening an image of the CEO’s head, photoshopped on a turtle’s body.

Nia bursts out laughing at the photo, her head thrown back as she applauds the picture.

“what the fuck is that!?” she says with as much disgust as possible in her tone, “it’s not funny!” she turns to Nia with a deep, disgruntled frown spread over her face — Nia only keeps laughing.

smiling innocently, “It’s you as a turtle!” Kara explains to her.

“I can see that!” Lena scowls.

Nia manages to stifle her laughter for a moment, “I don’t get why you have such a deep hatred for turtles!”

A look of pure despise takes over Lena’s expression. “Okay, so, you know the law of inverse, right?” she begins, already in full business mode — Nia has _done_ _it_.

_uh oh._

Kara can immediately tell that they’re gonna be here for a while.

Lena continues on her furious rant, “that means, for every turtle that lives, that’s minus one plastic straw, you see what I mean?” she says, turning Kara’s chair so they were facing each other. like it would somehow solidify her point.

Kara only averts her eyes, intimidated by how intense Lena’s were.

“That’s one less plastic straw for me, and then you have to use paper straws — which, since, y’know — hundreds of years ago they realized, “oh, paper disintegrates in water!” because it’s fucking _paper!_ ” Lena continues to mock, holding onto the armrests on Kara’s chair and aggressively rocking her back and forth, as if it would make the nervously laughing Kryptonian look her in the eye, but if anything it only makes her shrink into her seat.

Kara can only imagine how Lena looked from the audience’s perspective, pacing back and forth, arms flailing wildly in exaggerated gestures as she continues on to ramble.

“It’s fucking _paper_ and it disintegrates in water, so I can’t use paper straws, so I need my plastic straws, which means all the turtles gotta go away— Oh, I’m sorry! I have a straw in my nose, I can breathe _further—_ ” she slams her hands back onto Kara’s armrests, ignoring Nia who was silently losing it beside the blonde, “—what is that- what’s fucking wrong with that, _turtle!?_ you can breathe farther now! Deal with that! you’re welcome!”

Mortified, Kara mutes the stream by the press of a button on her tablet — however, the CEO seems to be unaware of Kara’s actions and goes on to rant for a couple more minutes.

(PSA: Kara loves turtles and even though Lena despises them, she actually contributes to saving turtles. In fact, L-Corp is one of the main reasons why turtles are no longer endangered — it’s not the fact that she’s secretly starting to develop a soft spot for turtles, of course not — she just wants to impress Kara)

She only stops having a speech when Brainy walks into the room and bribes Nia to eat lunch downstairs with chicken nuggets, leaving her and Kara alone together.

* * *

the door clicks shut behind Kara as she makes her way back to Lena — who was now sitting on Nia’s vacated seat, looking up at Kara with a fond grin as the Kryptonian settles back on her swivel chair, turning around until she could be face to face with Lena

“So–” Kara leans into the younger Luthor’s personal space, holding out her hand, which Lena gratefully accepts, intertwining her own fingers with her lover, “–It’s just you and me,” Kara says suggestively in a low voice.

Kara, inches closer to her, “how’re you feeling?” 

“I’m pretty good,” says Lena, nodding her head along.

“oh yeah?” Kara muses, mimicking Lena and bobbing her head up and down as well.

humming in affirmation, Lena lets go of her girlfriend’s hands to reach over the desk and dig into the foil package for a chocolate pocky stick.

the action seems to make Kara a tiny bit flustered, “o-oh! you wanna do the pocky thing?” she sputters as she asks Lena, fiddling with her glasses.

her question is answered when Lena faces her once again, placing the pocky between their lips — Kara’s about to bite into it before Lena decides to shove the entire pocky into her throat-

they both burst into laughter as Lena chokes on the pocky, doubling over as she dissolves into a coughing fit — _“fuck,”_ she wheezes, holding the pocky away in one hand and clutching her stomach with the other as she fails to hold back from dissolving into giggles.

“is that not the pocky game?” Lena asks, wiping away the tears in her eyes from coughing and laughing too hard, “isn’t the game about how far down can you fit a pocky in your throat?” 

Kara cups Lena’s face in her hands, her own cheeks turning red and practically vibrating in her chair as she too, fails to stifle a laugh.

“Why are you like this?” Kara pleads, feigning disappointment — Lena doesn’t answer the question and only burrows her head into Kara’s neck.

“okay, seriously now–” Kara grabs another pocky stick, holding it in the space between the middle of their faces, pulling back for the last second to ask, “do you want the biscuit side or the chocolate side?”

“the chocolate side.”

“Okay,” mumbles Kara, turning the pocky stick so the side coated with chocolate was pointed at Lena. “Ready?” she asks, her voice slightly muffled as she secured her lips around the pocky.

When Lena bites into the chocolate, Kara simply bites off the uncovered part of the biscuit and pulls away right after, making Lena confused, though she keeps chewing.

“I ate the biscuit part for you so you could get all the chocolate,” she explains.

Lena snorts, “Simp.”

They play a couple of rounds of smash before changing up the game to super bunny man, and when they had gotten tired of watching each other’s characters launching themselves into space, their conversation lands on some nerdy talk.

“It’s hard without... a teacher because I don’t know… _exactly_ ,” Kara explains.

nodding in agreement, Lena mutters, “Yeah, I’m good at explaining, like, concepts and–”

“Where can I sign up for tutoring sessions?” 

Lena’s brain does a dozen backflips in world record speed.

“—I-I, Uhm… I–”

_ah, fuck._

“oh, you’re stuttering! you’re stuttering!” Kara caps her hand over her mouth as if she were, at the same time, in awe and shocked by Lena’s little mishap — “oh that’s so cute!” 

Kara laughs with delight, “you stuttered, oh my god–” she smooshes Lena's face between her hands, “ – you stuttered!” she repeats, Lena pulls away, pretending to gag, prompting a chuckle from Kara.

“Can you teach me for 24 hours straight?” asked Kara.

Lena has to fight the urge to not say “I don’t know about _straight_.” And instead, she nods and replies, “If you can learn for 24 hours straight.”

_“Oh, I can.”_

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah,” Kara reassures, nodding excitedly, “we could just- drink a bunch of coffee…”

Lena is obviously into the idea as she enthusiastically exclaims, “oh, a fuck ton of coffee.” 

Kara softly chuckles at that, “yeah? okay!” she grins, reaching for her girlfriend’s hand, giving it a soft squeeze. 

the simple action makes Lena smile softly, “It’s gonna be- I want you to know, it’s gonna be quite boring at first – ”

“nothing’s boring with you,” Kara cuts her off.

“ – and through, uhm, uh –.” taken aback, Lena’s sentence dissolves into thin air.

Kara can practically see Lena’s brain short-circuiting, as if the gears in her head had suddenly stopped working and now there were electrical sparks erupting from her head as she forces herself to keep her gears turning.

Before Lena can defend herself, Kara is onto her again, catching onto her slip up right away. The Kryptonian jumps excitedly on her seat, looking like she might just fly through the roof.

“you stuttered again!” she exclaims, jabbing an accusing finger at her chest, giggling uncontrollably as she teases Lena.

“—It’s going to be boring in the middle also… and also in the end,” Lena finishes, trying to salvage what’s left of her ego.

“It’s gonna be fun cuzitswithayou,” Kara says in a rush to fluster Lena some more — but it only causes her to trip over her words, “cuzitsawithayou,” she repeats with a self-conscious chuckle.

Lena shakes Kara by her shoulders, mocking her in a whiny voice. “aw, you _stutterrrrrred_ ,” she teases, prompting Kara to hide her face behind her palms.

“that’s why I think you’re cute all the time, cause you can’t speak English well,” Lena laughs, “aw, you didn’t even finish that sentence, that’s so cute!” she says before Kara could retort, pulling her into a hug.

“I hate you,” the Kryptonian pouts into the material of her crewneck sweater.

“Hi, am I disturbing.” the door suddenly creaks open, Nia’s voice filling the room. “I need a little help with my loft bed,” she tells them.

motioning her hand at the camera, “ooh, can we bring them with us to your room?” Kara asks, her voice hinted with hopefulness.

“sure!”

* * *

  
  


“rock, paper, scissors,” they both chant at the same time as they bring their hands down — Lena loses, drawing scissors against a rock.

Kara hesitantly glances between Lena and the back of Lena’s hand. “uh, wait-”

“you slap my hand.”

“I don’t wanna slap you-”

“slap me!”

“I don’t—” Kara sputters uselessly.

Lena looks at her with an intimidating glare, her eyes reduced into slits. Kara groans as she gives in, though her hand barely even taps the back of the Luthor’s hand.

“what the fuck, _that’s it!?_ ” Lena retorts.

“I don’t wanna hurt you!”

“slap me harder!”

“what the _fuck_.” Nia spits out.

Nia had dragged them over to her room, explaining that her loft bed was _wobbling_ and that she was afraid it might break if she accidentally touches it.

with Kara and Lena being literal geniuses, found the problem… which quickly escalated into a debate on which of them gets to stabilise the bed.

they both decided to settle it over rock, paper, scissors.

Lena wins by the end.

“Just wanna let you know that there are over half a million people watching,” Nia tells her as-a-matter-of-factly, adjusting the camera to view Lena who was now squatting on top of the loft bed, the bed lurching with every little movement.

Lena only cackles, “Oh, my funeral is gonna be _lit_.”

“Babe, no—”

stubbornly, Lena holds onto the bed frame’s side rails, giggling like a child as she looks directly at Kara and begins shifting her weight from left to right, rocking the bed back and forth aggressively.

Kara hurriedly steps just beneath the bed, holding out her hand as if readying herself to catch Lena, a nervous laugh escapes her throat.

“Lena- Lena please stop–”

“what the fuck is going on in here?” came Alex’s voice out of nowhere.

“please tell her to stop,” Kara pleads, trying to hold the bed steady as Lena keeps wobbling it.

Alex stares back and forth between the couple, and after a few beats of silence, says-

“Keep going, Luthor! you’re doing great!” that’s all Alex says before the sound of the door being shut close and a loud chuckle from Nia was heard.

“What if I make a streamer backpack,” Lena wonders aloud, “but It monitors your heart rate, and if it ever drops to zero, it turns on your stream.”

Kara has to temporarily face the camera on the floor to float up and grab Lena, who squeaks as she’s thrown over the kryptonian’s shoulder and brought back down on the floor.

right on time, Alex drops off their puppy, Krypto, freshly groomed. He walks straight into Lena’s lap and distracts her long enough for Kara to stabilise the bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yell at me on twitter @fecofijo


End file.
